Comments on Book Binge: Charity Starts...On the World Wide Web?

I'm late to this party but great post Holly, I fee...

2009-03-10T12:22:00.000-07:00

I'm late to this party but great post Holly, I feel exactly the same way that you do on this topic as well as a whole lot of people in this very thread.

Great discussion ladies.

For me, those personal calls for help through their professional writing sites/email loops and all those things are inappropriate.

And, the question you deliberately avoided, what d...

2009-03-10T09:59:00.000-07:00

And, the question you deliberately avoided, what difference does it make whose asking?

If you had actually read my comments above, I never said that I agree with someone asking on behalf of an author. I said that I think it's okay for author to raise money for causes.

At the risk of sounding repetitive, the reason I feel uncomfortable with an author coming to me directly is because I already support them by buying their books. That doesn't detract from the fact that they may need help, but almost everyone could use help these days (as Holly originally stated).

Now I can't help but think you'redeliberately ignoring the point of this whole post.

Umm, nope. Last time I checked my reading and com...

2009-03-10T09:45:00.000-07:00

Umm, nope. Last time I checked my reading and comprehension was up to par. And I take much disrespect at you speaking to me as if I'm some kind of idiot. You don't know me, so speaking about what I do deliberately should be the last thing that you do.

I read the entire post, and all of the comments. I never thought that anyone was saying that the fact that they actually HAD to ask for help was making them uncomfortable. And STILL I don't understand how the forum in which the help is requested makes a difference. So, because they are authors, in the public eye, who enjoy some kind of "celebrity" then they shouldn't ask for help on their own behalves, but only for other people?

So, I ask again, why would it make YOU uncomfortable that someone who is a celebrity goes directly to their readers to ask for help? And, the question you deliberately avoided, what difference does it make whose asking?

pserendipity,I can't help but think that you're de...

2009-03-10T07:51:00.000-07:00

pserendipity,

I can't help but think that you're deliberately misunderstanding.

It's not the asking for help that makes "us" uncomfortable. It's the forum in which they're asking for that help. If you read the entire post, I'm sure you would have understood that. The whole point of this post was to discuss authors using their "celebrity" and going directly to their readers to ask for help. That is what's uncomfortable, not the fact that they actually have to ask for help.

I can't really make the connection, so someone ple...

2009-03-10T07:39:00.000-07:00

I can't really make the connection, so someone please explain to me what difference it makes who is doing the asking?

If I'm in need of help, then why is it more acceptable for someone to ask on my behalf? Why is it begging if I ask, but charity if someone else asks if the purpose is still the same?

So, if I need the help and there's no one to ask for it, am I less deserving of the assistance because I don't have a representative?

And how in the world do you get "uncomfortable" when you see someone asking for help. The fact that someone is losing their home and they need something makes YOU uncomfortable? What in the world?

Holly - you aren't the only reader or person to fe...

2009-03-10T01:05:00.000-07:00

Holly - you aren't the only reader or person to feel like this. You were very clear that it's 'an author asking for money for THEMSELVES'

I haven't come across this but I was honest and said it would make me uncomfortable. Like I said above, there are people here in my real life that need me and the charities I give to are thoroughly checked out by me and my husband. We do check how much of our money goes to the people in need. That's important to us. So we give consciously.

Does it make us bad people that we check to see where the money we are donating is going? That we know we only have so much to give and we want every penny we give to count? Why give to an organization that keeps 30 to 50% of the money donated when there are organizations that use as little as 12% for their overhead?

As to a single person on the internet asking for money for themselves. I wish I could be the rosy glassed person who didn't look for the 'take'.

Course if I was that type of person I guess I would have collected those lottery winnings from the UK, or helped that deposed King who has a bunch of money in a foreign bank account that could be partially mine with just a little altruistic help.

How dare we be honest about our discomfort in seeing a single person make a public plea for money on the internet. I wish the person no ill will. I don't e-mail them telling them to take it down. I see it, get uncomfortable and leave. I'm not proud that I feel that way, I wish I didn't but it's my honest response and sometimes that's all we have to give to each other.

CindyS

Ms. Holcomb,I'm not sure if you actually read this...

2009-03-09T16:01:00.000-07:00

Ms. Holcomb,

I'm not sure if you actually read this entire post or if you're just going off the post at Karen's, but I never once said it was disgusting or demeaning to ask for help on behalf of someone else. I even said, quite plainly, "Because if I see another author asking on behalf of someone s/he knows, I don't have a problem with that.", in the body of my original post. And funnily enough, I had you and Sharon Cullers in mind when I wrote that. I thought it was very admirable of you to stand up for your friend and ask others to help her. Kudos to you.

What I find distasteful is the number of authors currently complaining because they aren't making any money as authors and want me to donate money to them because of it. Well, I'm sorry, but no. I'm not going to donate my money - of which I have very little extra right now - to pay your bills ("your" being used in a general sense in this case).

Also, I would like to point out that this post was directed at readers. As a reader, I become very uncomfortable when I visit the blog of an author I respect and see a request for donations via Paypal for whatever reason. I already "support" that author by purchasing her books.

As a reader, I wondered if I was the only reader who felt this way and therefore asked.

I come from fan communities where there has been m...

2009-03-09T14:24:00.000-07:00

I come from fan communities where there has been more than one case of someone begging for money and then turning out to be a fraud of some kind. So I'm pretty cautious when it comes to folks begging. I find paypal buttons on websites and I have seen this - usually self-published authors but I've seen a publishing company recently with a donations button - unprofessional.

I noticed there was a spate of begging for this and that author last year. I take these on a case by case basis. For instance if someone is going to lose their home - well you didn't just wake up one day and get papers saying you were going to lose your home. You stopped paying your bills for so long that your bank decided to forclose on you.

So my question becomes What are you doing to earn money? Are you doing freelance work? Are you selling stories on your site? Are you teaching online classes? If all I see is you with a begging post then you're not going to get a dime from me. Sorry. We all have it hard but some of us get off our asses and do something other than beg.

I don't have a problem with official charity auctions run by authors.

Roslyn,I can't speak on behalf of Holly or Rowena,...

2009-03-09T08:23:00.000-07:00

Roslyn,

I can't speak on behalf of Holly or Rowena, but my beliefs/comments about this issue are in no way directed toward you or Sharon Cullars or her situation.

Awhile back, the community rallied around Jo Leigh when (I think) her husband unexpectedly passed away. I thought it was really wonderful how so many people came together to help her.

There's a very fine line in this situation. It isn't too clear where that line is when it comes to asking for money for personal reasons.

I'd use the exact same words Rosie did. It's not a...

2009-03-09T07:11:00.000-07:00

I'd use the exact same words Rosie did. It's not appropriate. Period. Particularly when maybe one out of five in the population you're polling for money has been impacted just as if not more negatively than you have.

Very interesting to find so many who agree. Seems like we all did the same thing--simply ignored it.

Wow, I scarce know where to begin, and am even hes...

2009-03-09T06:49:00.000-07:00

Wow, I scarce know where to begin, and am even hesitant to comment. First, let me be clear Sharon Cullars never asked for a dime. When I learned of her situation, I was horrified at the notion of ANYONE losing their home, and wanted to help. Like most everyone else, my family has struggled in these difficult economic times, which is probably why I had such a visceral reaction.

Frankly, it never occurred to me that there are people who would think that someone asking for help on someone’s behalf is disgusting or somehow demeaning. I’m not sure when it became shameful or ‘gross’ to ask for help. Certainly, had it occurred to me that doing so would expose Sharon to degradation or allegations of ‘grossness,’ I never would have asked. It pains me greatly that I have brought this to someone that I don’t think deserves it and has already been to hell and back.

So, to anyone I offended with my request, I most sincerely apologize. If you like, email me personally and just have at me like a piñata if you find it necessary. If you need to be disgusted with someone, please be disgusted with me, after all, I’m the one who did the asking, not Sharon. In particular, I apologize to Sharon. It hurts me deeply that in my attempt to help, I’ve managed to bring shame and ridicule upon her.

And, let me be clear, there is no fraud. The foreclosure is real, I have seen the documents with my own eyes and have enough legal experience to recognize authentic foreclosure documents when I see them.

I honestly don't understand why it's such a big de...

2009-03-07T18:04:00.000-08:00

I honestly don't understand why it's such a big deal that someone is asking for help. If it makes me uncomfortable, I just don't do anything. But I find it very hard to pass judgment on someone who does ask for help. I don't see this as a right vs wrong issue and certainly NOT an issue of morals. There's nothing immoral about asking for help unless you don't actually need it.

I haven't seen this but I agree completely. I hav...

2009-03-07T14:59:00.000-08:00

I haven't seen this but I agree completely. I have to be honest and say I'm not loving being hit up for money from any number of sources.

I have a friend with a son who has autism so I help when his mother is doing charity events.

Bob's family has 3 brothers with diabetes so I give to diabetes.

I have a friend who's Mom will soon pass from Lung Cancer so I give to the Cancer society.

We can only do what we can. I can't give money to everyone. If I can help then I do what I can. I don't know that I could ask people for money because I need it for myself. Could I ask my friends or family? Yes. But it would be painful and it would be paid back as soon as possible.

The idea that someone could ask strangers for money without any expectations - yuck.

Cindys

er..."setting" up an eBay store, not "selling" one...

2009-03-07T12:26:00.001-08:00

er..."setting" up an eBay store, not "selling" one. LOL

Marsha brings up a good point - selling cover flat...

2009-03-07T12:26:00.000-08:00

Marsha brings up a good point - selling cover flats, bonus e-books, etc. I have no problem with an author selling up an eBay store to sell autographed books and other cool collectibles.

But "I have a few small items up for sale" is totally different from "Please donate money via PayPal so I can buy school clothes for my kids".

I hate that we're all in a money crisis, and I'm r...

2009-03-07T08:54:00.000-08:00

I hate that we're all in a money crisis, and I'm right there with everyone else, but as an author, I'd prefer people just buy my books. That's one way to keep the employment coming! In any case, I can't imagine asking for a handout other than that!

Yeah, asking for help is hard to do, but being abl...

2009-03-07T06:05:00.000-08:00

Yeah, asking for help is hard to do, but being able to over come your pride enough to do it does not make it right.
Just like having the right to ask for help does not make it moral.
Of, course, morals are subjective to each and every person.

Helping out a friend is one thing. Asking for help from a friend is one thing. Asking strangers when you need to pay the mortgage is a whole other ball park.

You didn't see Nora Roberts asking for hand outs when that fire happened.

With regard to authors requesting donations - I ha...

2009-03-06T20:54:00.000-08:00

With regard to authors requesting donations - I haven't observed it myself but I'm not really sure that I feel all that comfortable about it. I'm guessing though that they have exhausted all other options?

A TV news bulletin just stated that unemployment is the highest it has been in the US for 20 years (and I don't live in the US). I just hope for everyone's sake that the world's leaders can set us on a path out of this economic crisis.

Thank you Holly for a very honest and thought-provoking post. I wish you and your family all the best!

I'm uncomfortable with it too - and I agree Holly ...

2009-03-06T19:59:00.000-08:00

I'm uncomfortable with it too - and I agree Holly - I support them by buying their books.
On top of that my son works in the auto parts industry and has been and is on a rotating layoff schedule. He doesn't know from week to week if he will be working or not. I've had to help him out considerable lately and never know when I'll have to again.
My heart really does go out to those who need help - but with limited resources, I'm going to help my son.

Life is hard for everybody. Every body. There is...

2009-03-06T19:39:00.000-08:00

Life is hard for everybody. Every body. There is no one I know who hasn't been impacted in some way by the economy.

Consequently, I don't see an author's particular financial issue any greater or more important than anyone else's.

Unless it's for an organized charity I don't feel it's appropriate for anyone to ask for money for personal reasons. I just don't. The only exception I've made for that is helping a family bury a loved one.

Hopefully, I don't sound like a Hard Hearted Hannah because that certainly is not my intention nor how I live my life.

I have to agree with you. The times I have spread...

2009-03-06T18:02:00.000-08:00

I have to agree with you. The times I have spread the word was because someone other than the author has contacted me and asked if I would mind doing so. I don't have a problem with that. But to have an author doing so her or himself totally puts me off.

With the economy being such as it is, it's hard to have to turn down anyone's request for help because there are just too many people in the same, or worse, situation. But if I can, I'm going to try and help those who I personally know, and those who try to help themselves first before asking for help. I have a friend who lost her job and she's been trying for months to find work. She has no one to rely on, and during the cold winter months, she says she's huddled under a blanket with one small lamp on for heat and light. She never once asked for anything, but she's struggling. I can't help everyone, but if I can help just one person, it's going to be her because I've seen how difficult it's been for her and how hard she's tried to find another job.

I've also struggled with this issue. Using one's ...

2009-03-06T17:48:00.000-08:00

I've also struggled with this issue. Using one's name and talents to raise money for a cause strikes me as totally appropriate. Raising money for personal reasons is...icky.

Unless. We don't typically think of authors as entrepreneurs and writing as a business, but both are true. If an author needs money, post a couple of short stories and a paypal button for freeware/shareware (people have raised amazing sums in such ways). Trickier to pull off (and perhaps not possible, but I bet variations of this theme *are*) would be selling rights to the work, a la David Bowie. Auction autographed sets, marketing collateral, whatever. In other words, it's a business and if I am to be paying money to a private "company" then I do expect something in return other than good feelings.

There are so many people hurting all over. It's unfortunate that we're even having this discussion.

I do have to agree somewhat on what you say Holly....

2009-03-06T17:40:00.000-08:00

I do have to agree somewhat on what you say Holly. Times are hard for everyone.

But I think it's about time we all start to help everyone we can. This recession is going to make all of us swallow are pride and reach out to people we may have not had wanted to do before.
Sometimes asking for help is very hard and it may have been hard for this author to even ask her fans for help, maybe she can't support the rest of her family and needs help. I don't know.
It may seem selfish, but we all need a helping hand someday.

Yup, I agree too. Charity stuff is fine, absolute...

2009-03-06T17:07:00.000-08:00

Yup, I agree too. Charity stuff is fine, absolutely! The other stuff...well, it makes me uncomfortable. I feel bad for the person but still it seems so very inappropriate.

Holly, I see your point, and it personally does ma...

2009-03-06T16:55:00.000-08:00

Holly, I see your point, and it personally does make me uncomfortable. But I think it takes a lot for someone to ask complete strangers for help that I can't begrudge them the opportunity. If they're doing it in their own blog/space, and if other people are publicising it for them voluntarily, I really don't see anything wrong with it. I guess I don't see publicly asking for help as undignified unless it's done in an ungracious manner, or if it's something that a person does all the time. I also don't consider it begging, particularly if the author has already established a relationship with readers (e.g. a blog) and there's some trust that the author is genuinely in need. I've seen real beggars in my life, and there's a huge difference.